


Talking it Out

by bookwormninja



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, cloud talking about feelings, queerplatonic zack and cloud gives me life ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6392227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwormninja/pseuds/bookwormninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cloud is feeling...frustrated... with the current status of his relationship with Angeal, he goes to his closest friend for help to figure out how to take his relationship to the next level.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Best Friend's Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so bad at titles, so here we go again. Un-beta'd as usual, so I apologize for errors  
> The inspiration for this came from something on tumblr, but then it took a form of it's own, so it doesn't really fit that anymore. Part 2 is in the works, and I hope to have it posted sometime next week or before then. Any comments would be greatly appreciated!

"Spike, you're gonna have to stop pacing before you wear out my carpet. I'm not made of money, despite what you may think," Zack joked as he watched his longtime friend circle his way around the coffee table for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Oh, sorry," Cloud said, jumping a bit from being pulled out of his deep thoughts. He sighed heavily before dropping himself next to Zack on the couch, leaning into the arm Zack placed around him. He closed his eyes and leaned more heavily into the comfort of his friend at the strong arms circling his body.

"Now," Zack started after a few minutes of listening to Cloud's breathing stabilize. "You know I'm never against you coming over to hang out anytime you want, but you've been here a lot lately, and you seem a bit preoccupied. Anything you wanna talk about?"

"It's stupid," Cloud answered, turning to bury his face into the side of Zack's neck to hide his embarrassed blush. "It's not important."

"If it's bothering you, it's important to me. Even if it does seem unimportant," Zack responded seriously, arm curling tighter around Cloud in reassurance. "Have you tried talking to Angeal? He's an even better listener than me."

"I caaaaan't!" Cloud whined into Zack's neck, causing the man to squirm from the ticklish sensation. "It's about him!" He all but climbed into his best friend's lap, trying to burrow into his clothes to hide his reddening face.

It was bad enough that he was worrying about something so silly, but now he felt guilty about worrying Zack of all people. Out of everyone he knew, Zack was his best friend, the guy who was always on his side, and even helped him find the courage to date. Which, in a roundabout way makes his current problem Zack's fault if he squinted hard enough.

"Why can't you go to Angeal? I'm sure he hasn't done anything horrible," Zack responded, rubbing Cloud's back to calm him down. "He hasn't, has he?" Zack pulled away to look down at his friend's face to make sure.

"No, of course he hasn't," Cloud said, looking Zack dead in the eye to be sure he got to point. Long-time mentor or not, Cloud knew that Zack would be willing to take on anyone to protect him if he had to.

"Alright," Zack said, nodding that he understood. “So what is this about, then?"

"Like I said, this is just me being silly," Cloud repeated, going back to trying to hiding his face from Zack.

"Well, since you won't tell me, I'll just have to guess." Zack then turned to lay lengthwise along the couch, repositioning Cloud to lay against his chest, caged in by his legs. “Coming from past experiences dealing with you and Angeal, I'm guessing it's similar to the last time." Zack chuckled as he felt the bundle against his chest nod and groan, confirming his suspicion.

The last time Cloud came to him about Angeal, back when they had only been dating for about a month or so, Zack just about died from how cute and inexperienced his friend was. Then, poor Cloud had never really dated before, and was just warming up to the thought of it. Because of this, he had also never kissed anyone before, leading to him stress out about when and how to kiss Angeal.

Apparently Angeal was taking it very slowly, not wanting to rush or push Cloud into anything, leaving Cloud feeling rather flustered and more than a little bit inadequate whenever Angeal avoided kissing him on the mouth in favor of anywhere else. Not that it was bad, Cloud told Zack when he finally got him to sit down and talk, but he wanted the closeness and intimacy of a real kiss. He just didn't know how to ask, which left him a blushing mess in Zack's arms, much like he was now.

"Hey, do you remember what I told you last time?" Zack said, after a few minutes of contemplating what could be the matter with his friend. At his question, Cloud sat up a bit, so he could see Zack’s face.

"Which part?" Cloud tilted his head to the side when Zack sat them both up and cradled his face in both hands, leaning into the one that slid through his hair to massage a spot behind his ear.

"The part where I told you that everyone feels nervous and embarrassed at some point in relationships, no matter how long they've been together, and that your 'silly issues' are important and should be communicated to your partner to avoid situations like this," Zack said, giving Cloud a gentle smile to cut the lecturing tone of his words. "How is Angeal supposed to know what you want if you don't tell him?"

"But this time it's really embarrassing!" Cloud answered, flustered already. He regretted speaking immediately when he caught the look Zack gave him.

"Ooooh, Cloudy's frustrated! How cuuuute!" Zack squealed, squeezing Cloud closer to himself and giggling at Cloud's embarrassed face. After a few seconds of torturing the captive Cloud, he calmed down. "Ok ok ok, all joking aside, how is this a problem? Doesn't this just mean you're even more into Angeal? It's natural to be nervous about it, believe me. No one is one hundred percent confident the first time."

"I guess so," Cloud admitted. "But how do I bring it up? I can't just drop by and say 'Hey Angeal, fuck me!'." His face got a little red just imagining himself saying such a thing to his boyfriend, and reddened even more when Zack clutched at his sides from laughter.

"You totally could," Zack choked out between laughing hiccups. "I bet that'd do the trick."

"Zaaack," Cloud whined. "I'm being serious." Since he had basically confessed his embarrassing thoughts, he figured the least Zack could do was give some useful advice on how to handle the situation.

"What can I tell you that I haven't already?" Zack asked, finally calmed down from his explosive laughter. "There's only one way aside from jumping the guy that would work, and that's talking it out. No one can read minds, Spike. And thank Gaia for that, honestly. I would be in so much trouble if that were the case." Cloud chuckled at his friend's attempt to put him at ease before finally sighing in agreement.

"I know. I was just hoping there would be a way I could ask without really asking, you know?" Cloud shrugged his shoulders before putting his arms around Zack's shoulders to hug him tightly. "Thanks, Zack. I'll go talk to him tomorrow, to get the embarrassment over with."

"Anytime, bud." Zack said into Cloud's hair as he returned the hug. "And be sure to fill me in on aaaaallllll the juicy details when you're done with your 'conversation'." He just couldn't resist riling Cloud up one last time before releasing him from his hold, laughing as he rubbed his shoulder in mock pain from Cloud's swift punch.

"You're a pain," Cloud said, with only pretending to be irritated by his friend's antics. Satisfied with his decision, he got up to turn on Zack’s tv and game system, turning to the man with a challenging look in his eye. “Now are we just gonna sit here all night or are you ready for me to kick your ass in Smash?”, he asked, waving Zack’s “special controller” in the air in front of his face.

“You’re on,” Zack said, getting up to snatch his controller out of his hand and drag Cloud back to the couch with him.

 

* * *

 

After tiring of gaming for hours on end, the two headed to Zack’s room to turn in for the night. Their bedtime routine was perfected after years of being unwilling to sleep separately, bar the times when they were away for a mission or Zack had someone special over for the night.

Once in bed, Zack pulled Cloud onto his chest, serving as a human pillow for his smaller friend. Most of the time, the two slept much like this, curled up with in each other’s comfortable embrace.

“Hey Zack,” Cloud whispered after settling himself. Taking the grunt he felt more than heard as a response, he continued. “Thanks, again. For not thinking I’m being stupid. It means a lot.”

All was silent for a few seconds, leading Cloud to think the Zack was actually asleep. He was on the cusp of sleeping himself when he felt Zack’s arm tighten around him, and the man lean down to kiss his hairline before settling back with a small sigh. He could have sworn he could make out the words “S’not a probl’m, Spike”, before he finally drifted away.


	2. Blushes and Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoooo boy it's been a while. Sorry, friends! Life really got in the way so much these past few months, but I finally ran into a block of inspiration to finish. This chapter is twice as long as the first, though haha! Thanks for sticking with me and hope you enjoy!

It was actually quite some time before Cloud found the time to talk to Angeal. Not that he forgot, as Zack made it a point to mention it _at least_ 5 times a day, but it proved much harder to line up schedules between himself and the famous and highly sought-after First Class SOLDIER.

The very night Cloud originally planned to sit down and chat with his boyfriend, Angeal was called away for a 2-day mission. Immediately after which, Cloud himself was requested to lead and guide a squad of troopers on their first mission for 4 days. After all the post-mission paperwork had been filed, it was a full week after the conversation with Zack that Cloud and Angeal actually had free time to talk. (Cloud sent Angeal a text that read “can we talk”, in response to which Angeal _politely requested_ to not be disturbed for the next few days bar only “world-ending emergencies”.)

So after 7 days of thinking and waiting between missions and paperwork, Cloud felt fairly prepared, rehearsing the coming conversation in his head as he used Angeal’s spare keycard to enter the man’s apartment.

“‘Geal?” Cloud called out when he wasn’t immediately greeted by his boyfriend.

“I’m in the kitchen,” Angeal’s voice carried from farther in the apartment.

After removing his shoes and jacket, Cloud made his way to the kitchen, slowly checking on the various plants in the living room as he felt his previous anxieties creeping back into his mind. After a quick pause to touch the lamb’s ear Angeal gave him for his birthday for “ease of mind”, Cloud turned the corner into the kitchen to finally talk to his boyfriend.

“Hey,” Angeal greeted, looking up from whatever he was preparing at the counter to watch Cloud’s approach.

“Hey yourself,” Cloud joked, lightly bumping Angeal with his hip before turning his attention to what was being prepared. Noticing the tell-tale signs of Angeal’s world-famous (at least in Cloud’s eyes) sugar cookies in the making, he instantly brightened and pressed himself against Angeal’s side to get a closer look at the creation process.

“Are you making sugar cookies?”

“Mmhm,” Angeal answered, going back to mixing his ingredients. “I could use an extra set of hands, if you’re feeling up to chatting and baking,” he said. Laughing at Cloud’s enthusiastic ‘yes!’, he left the mixing of the ingredients to cut up the first batch, confident that Cloud already knew what to do.

“Seph pulled a huge favor for me to get these next few days off, so I thought I’d repay him with a batch or two of cookies,” Angeal explained as Cloud washed his hands and got to work mixing the ingredients.

“More like you bribed him,” Cloud said to himself, starting up another batch of cookie dough. “How many did you promise him, anyway? You could feed my whole squad and their families with all this.”

“Well, I promised I would make enough to sate his sweet tooth for a while,” Angeal answered. “Which we all know means making enough for at least a week and to hide in various cabinets for ‘emergencies’. And I figured I may as well make some for everyone while I was at it. You know how Gen gets when I bake for anyone but him.”

Angeal smiled fondly at Cloud’s amused laughter as he put the two now-full cookie sheets into the oven. Setting the timer, he took a few minutes to just look at Cloud and enjoy his presence. To Angeal, it felt like much longer than a week since he’d last had any substantial leisure time with his boyfriend, so he was very much content to just be together in silence for as long as Cloud wanted.

After a few minutes of checking that his freshly-made batter was satisfactory, Cloud passed the dough to Angeal for rolling and cutting, starting on yet another batch.

“Thanks,” Cloud said, glad for chance to get his thoughts together through baking. He was grateful that Angeal never rushed or pushed too forcefully when he had something to say, always giving Cloud time to figure out how he wanted to go about it.

“You know you never have to thank me,” Angeal said. “Besides, we have plenty of time to talk about whatever you want.” Finishing his task, he checked on the cookies in the oven before sitting at the kitchen table to wait for Cloud to finish preparing his dough. It took a few minutes before Cloud was done, but eventually he gave up pretending to be busy and placed plastic wrap over the dough before joining Angeal at the table.

“So,” Cloud began, nerves coming back. “The other day I talked to Zack…. This is actually kind of embarrassing.” Cloud was slowly turning red, and his hands searched around the table for something to fiddle with. Noticing this, Angeal placed his hands on the table within Cloud’s reach, so Cloud could trace his fingers along Angeal’s hands as he usually loved to do when he was nervous about something.

“It’s ok,” Angeal said. “It’s just me. You can tell me anything, I won’t laugh.”

“That’s what Zack said,” Cloud replied, faking a pout. He looked down at his hands that were still tracing light patterns over Angeal’s before taking a deep breath to continue. “The thing is, I kinda just… Wanted to try taking things… to the next level with us? Like, physically?” Cloud’s voice rose steadily as he got more nervous, hands clenching Angeal’s as he waited for the man to process what he said.

“Ok, that’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Angeal responded after waiting for Cloud’s face to calm down from it’s fierce red blush. “That’s perfectly normal, you know? Don’t be ashamed about anything you feel.”

“That’s also something Zack told me,” Cloud said. At Angeal’s calm response to his worry, Cloud found himself relaxing and being more comfortable now that it was out in the open. “It’s like, I know it’s not a big deal but it’s still kind of a big deal to me, ya know? Because I’ve never...” Cloud stopped as he turned red again, looking down at their linked hands.

“Hey, look at me,”Angeal said. “If it means a lot to you, then it’s a big deal, you understand? And it’s totally ok to not feel experienced.” Angeal paused to take the cookies out of the oven and place two new trays inside before continuing. “You wanna know something that’s _actually_ embarrassing? It’s your turn to promise not to laugh this time, alright?”

“I promise,” Cloud said, wondering what kind of embarrassing story Angeal could tell that would help his own current situation.

“So I was a few years younger than you are now when I had my first boyfriend, or significant other of any kind, really,” Angeal began. “And we had been going out for a while, and one day of course the parents weren’t home,” Angeal trailed off at that, taking a moment to check on the cookies in the oven while Cloud chuckled at the stereotypical situation he was describing.

“Of course,” Cloud said, not hiding the huge smile on his face. He couldn’t help but wiggle his eyebrows at his boyfriend when Angeal sat back down to continue his story. “Naturally, things got a little, _hot and heavy_ , right?”

“Yes, they did in fact. And here’s where the embarrassing bit comes in,” Angeal said. “I told you we were pretty young, and we were both each others’ firsts, so the whole, intercourse thing was completely new to both of us. So when it came down to it, neither of us really knew what exactly to do.”

“Oh no,” Cloud interrupted, guessing where the story was going next.

“Oh yes. And it gets even worse,” Angeal replied. “So, as you can imagine, in a very television-esque way, my boyfriend and I are stumbling through figuring out this whole intimacy thing when my mother gets back from work early. Imagine the look on her face when she went to check on me and got a whole eyeful of teenage fumbling.” Angeal paused for moment, as Cloud was having a hard time stifling giggles at the story. I thought you wouldn’t laugh,” he asked, not at all angry.

“I’m sorry,” Cloud managed. “It’s just, _you_ of all people.” Cloud couldn’t hold back anymore and burst out into full on laughter.

“But I haven’t even gotten to the most embarrassing part yet,” Angeal said. As he waited for Cloud’s laughter to subside, he did another switch of the cookie trays, adding the last two cookie sheets of dough into the oven and setting the fresh cookies aside to cool.

“You can’t be serious,” Cloud said. “ There’s _more_? If it were me, I would have died on the spot.”

“Unfortunately, my mother didn’t leave me that option.” Angeal said. “For some reason, she wasn’t angry, which was worse to me at the time because that meant that she ended up being a bit too invested in my predicament, as I found out the next day. I did my best to sneak my way past my mother, as one does when she catches you in bed with someone, but she wasn’t having that at all. Apparently, she thought that was a perfect time for us to have a ‘talk’.”

“A talk? Wouldn’t you have been old enough to have have the talk already?” Cloud asked.

“Yes, but my mother felt that it was her duty to fill in any gaps from the first talk, which was all hetero sex.”

“Holy shit,” Cloud said, shaking his head in disbelief. “So you got the whole ‘bird and the bees’ talk again?”

“Basically. But this time was much worse, because for one, I was nearly a grown man, and second, she got books.” Angeal said, wincing at the memory.

“Books?”

“Mmhm. She got books so that she could best ‘help me make make good, safe decisions’, which was literally the worst few hours of my life.” Angeal finished his story with a sigh.

“That’s definitely the most embarrassing first time story I have ever heard,” Cloud said, shaking his head to clear his mind of the secondhand embarrassment he was feeling. “Thanks for sharing that with me.” He really did feel better after hearing that. There was no way his first time could ever be that embarrassing, especially since his partner was Angeal.

“No problem. Just don’t go around telling that to anyone else, especially Zack. I do have a reputation to uphold,” Angeal said, winking at Cloud. “Actually, I told that not only as an embarrassing story, but I think there’s something there that could potentially help you, if it is to your liking.”

“Oh really? Which part?” Cloud asked. “Should I call up my mom and ask her to teach me the details of gay sex to give her a heart attack over the phone?”

“No, no, nothing like that. I was actually thinking of the research aspect. Although it was beyond embarrassing, being prepared beforehand really does help with nerves.” Angeal said. “I was going to suggest maybe looking into things together? Of course you can always ask me directly, but if you would like to find out some information and then ask questions later, that’s always an option.” Stopping for a second at the overwhelmed look on Cloud’s face, he took a second to grab Cloud’s hands again. “Basically, you have a ton of options, none of which are the least bit shameful and everything from this point on is up to you and I am behind you one hundred percent.”

“Thanks, ‘Geal, for taking this so seriously. I honestly thought I was making a big deal out of nothing,” Cloud said, giving Angeal’s hands a small squeeze.

“Not at all,” Angeal reassured him. “First times are hardly ever perfect, but they don’t have to be scary, not if both parties are sure and ready for that step. For us, we can just feel it out and take our time, and I only ask that you be sure to ask someone if you find yourself having any questions, and that you come directly to me if you are experiencing any doubts at all, ok?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Cloud said, nodding. “This actually wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Oh, and don’t worry about me telling anything to Zack. I already know enough embarrassing stories about you from your time mentoring him.” With that, Cloud leapt to his feet and out of Angeal’s reach to busy himself with packing away the cookies, deftly avoiding Angeal’s attempts to tickle him for information.

“Well,” Angeal said, giving up on tickling his boyfriend in order to not make Cloud drop any cookies on the floor. “I guess it’s only fair that you know some embarrassing things about me. It’s not like Zack is tight-lipped when it comes to talking about you.” Cloud playfully hip bumped Angeal for that comment, before moving over to give angeal room to help clean up.  

* * *

After cleaning, Angeal and Cloud decided to deliver the containers of cookies to Sephiroth and Genesis, despite it being the middle of the workday. They were correct in their assumption that the cookies would be a much welcomed distraction from work, and they stayed with their friends for as long a break as they could justify before heading back to Angeal’s place.

“‘Geal?” Cloud said, attempting to get his boyfriend’s attention. When they returned from visiting Sephiroth and Genesis, the two ordered takeout from Angeal’s favorite shop while Cloud picked a movie to watch for couch cuddles. The movie he picked just so happened to also be one of Angeal’s favorites, so the man was very much into the scenes before them.

“Hm?” Angeal hummed, turning away from the tv to look at Cloud who sat tucked against his side. “What’s up?”

“Do you think it would be ok if I stayed over tonight?” Cloud managed, pointed looking away from Angeal as he slowly got his words out.

“You know you are always welcome here for as long as you like,” Angeal answered, gently turning Cloud to face him again. “But as I said earlier, I think it’s best for us to go slowly, ok?”

“Oh no I didn't mean stay over like, _sex_ stay over,” Cloud looked up quickly. “I was thinking more like, just cuddling? Zack and I cuddle all the time and I was hoping maybe we could do the same.” Cloud’s voice trailed off at the end of the sentence at Angeal’s gentle smile.

“Cloud,” Angeal said, cupping his boyfriend's face with both hands. “I would love for you to stay over, however many times you'd like.” With that, Angeal pulled Cloud in for a kiss, his large hands carding through Cloud's soft hair. “I happen to be an excellent cuddler.”


End file.
